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Super Bowl Human Trafficking Scandal

The San Francisco 49ers' Super Bowl XXIX troph...

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It’s Super Bowl Sunday and later this afternoon the New York Giants will face off (ok, that’s a hockey term) against the New England Patriots. Lots of “newness” in this one. But one thing that won’t be new is all the human trafficking that will (is) occur as a result. According to those who should know better, the Super Bowl is not only the biggest boon to the domestic violence industry that has ever been devised, it is also the biggest boon to the human trafficking industry. More teenage girls will be sexually exploited today than have ever been exploited in the entire history of mankind. I am here today to testify to the truth of it. Since I live in Los Angeles and the Super Bowl is being played elsewhere I couldn’t help but notice the absolute lack of teenage girl prostitutes anywhere along my route to work. Their absence was eerie. Downright spooky if you ask me. Obviously they and all the other teenage girls in Los Angeles just seem to have disappeared. At first, I was at a loss, then of course, I remembered that it’s the Super Bowl. All those nubile young things must have been whisked away by evil human traffickers eager to exploit them. That’s the only plausible answer as to why there were simply no teenage girls lining freeways at 6am on a Sunday morning. Instead of being home in bed, they’re all in Indianapolis servicing all those millions of fans and media types who couldn’t get into the stadium to watch the game. Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

Thank God we have nuns and the Indiana Legislature to protect them.

-TDOM

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