The New, Liberated Male
Ferdinand Bardamu at In Mala Fide has written an excellent response to Kay Hymowitz article “Where Have All the Good Men Gone?” in which she laments a perceived lack in the quality of men in their twenties. Others, Captain Capitalism, Whiskey and Mike at Crime & Federalism have also written responses to her lament and as Ferdinand notes, I shouldn’t have to say any more. But I do want to say more. At least I want to respond to Ferdinand.
Back in the sixties, women decried that growing up to be nothing more than a housewife was no better than growing up to be some man’s slave. They wanted to be liberated. This took the form of shunning the role of housewife and mother, entering the workplace, and feeling free to sleep with whoever they choose, whenever they choose. Basically, they broke free of traditional gender roles and assumed new roles similar to those of men. Eventually, they forgave the housewife and concluded that if a woman wanted that role, then it was fine with them as long as they weren’t expected to fulfill it.
Many of these same women looked at men and suggested that “patriarchy hurts men too” and thought that men should free themselves from its bonds. What they really expected, however, was for men to choose the role of housewife while they became the family’s breadwinners. They didn’t expect men to simply shun the role of provider and protector and truly liberate themselves by putting off marriage and responsibility for as long as possible, perhaps even altogether. But that’s what happened and now Kay Hymowitz doesn’t like it.
Men used to expect that if they got educated and worked hard and showed that they were capable of providing for a family, that a young woman would find them attractive, marry them, and bear their children. Then, of course, they would live happily ever after. But this dream has been shattered and men are beginning to realize that attempting to live it is now a nightmare. Divorce, child custody, alimony, and child support are practically inevitable and make slaves of the men who attempt to live the old dream. Young men are waking up to this new reality and they are opting out. Women have told them they are irrelevant and now they are telling women the same and women like Kay Hymowitz don’t like it.
Kay seems to believe that women are entitled to a man who will support them in marriage and after divorce. Women are entitled to take a man’s children and demand that he hand over his paycheck until they’re grown. Women are entitled to men who are willing to go die for them. Women are also entitled to reject men entirely if they so choose. But men are entitled to none of it.
Instead, men should be happy to find a promiscuous slut who already has a couple of kids for him to support and who will live with him just long enough to produce a couple more before leaving him and claiming that she is now entitled to half his stuff and lifelong support payments under threat of allegations that he was abusive.
Sorry Kay, men don’t want the nightmare offered by the modern, liberated women. Men are finding that shucking to role of provider and protector is quite liberating. They don’t have to grow up as fast. They don’t have to work as hard. They can actually enjoy life. Not only that, but because young women have become such promiscuous sluts, men can “hook up” with as many or as few as they like and the kept woman and all the baggage that comes with her is just as irrelevant to the young man as a bicycle to a fish.